Sunday, October 09, 2005

Down there at 39 weeks...

After enduring months of dodgy pelvic floor muscles due to the chronic cough that arrived at about the 12 week mark, left at 36 weeks to return a week and a half later, I have been a Tena Lady for quite some time. Albeit with maternity pads which psychologically makes a HUGE difference. Felix asking "Mummy, why are you wearing nappies" and Chef walking by singing "Tena Lady" under his breath did little to help that psychological state, but hey, I'm the one incubating so back off.

Anyways... last week things obviously shifted a gear in the baby-comes-out-here area. This was the first marked change since the whole vulval varicose vein threat of 2005. Mainly - and there's no nice word for it - the mucus, oh God the mucus. So much and so all.the.time. At first I thought - "oh goody, there goes my mucus plug!" - and really, how many times do you get to say that in one lifetime? But of course, I had forgotten the plug part should be 'pinkish' ie, have blood in it. Do you know how exciting this makes each and every trip to the toilet? Seriously, it's like waiting for the Powerball number.

Anyway, then there's the 'loose stools' and I don't mean the Ikea kind. This has been going on for the better part of a week.

Then there is the appetite change - more depressing (in that I just don't feel like Arnott's Potato Thins or Dorito's Nacho Cheese Cornchips) than worrying.

Then there are the ever present but not-hanging-around period pains. I know what's going to happen - the midwife will be able to manually stretch my cervix to 4cm, but will my waters break? no. Will the kid decide to come on its own accord? no. Will this be over by next Sunday when incubus is due? no.

That my friends, is called the art of positive thinking.